*One of the nice things about blogging is that it makes me accountable. This week I made several decisions not to buy things because of my own words. Last year I bought more than I should have and then decided we didn't have time to use it all effectively. That means instead of trying something new this year (I was really tempted by the Memoria Press Progym materials) I am going to stick to using what I bought last year for next year.
*I finally got an outline going for my Circe talk on Mothers and Sons. I was excited about the topic and then my brain went blank for several weeks. I was praying about it quite a bit because I need a lot of time to prepare for something like that and I am so thankful the outline finally worked itself out.
*We tried to watch the Oscars last night but since we hadn't watched any of the movies at all it was a bit boring. I just don't get what drives Hollywood.
*I am psyched that Psych returns on Tuesday! I need a little silliness right now.
*My final run time turned out better than I expected.5K: 41:35 Pace: 13:23. I attribute that to Footloose and Sweet Home Alabama. I will now stop talking about the run. Like my dad always says "Act like you've been there before." I have had trouble doing that because I haven't.
*Weigh-in today but not expecting much after the Fork and Pie and Abuelos this week.
Impressive race time!!
ReplyDeleteMemorial Press always tempts me. I was glad you posted about curriculum last week. We need better habits rather than more curricula around here. I have a MP gift card burning a hole in my pocket but I think I'll use it to replace our tattered Latin book rather than buy something new.
ReplyDeleteGood race time. :)
Joy
So what writing program are you sticking with? I'm still moving forward with Classical Writing, but the MP materials are tempting me lately. I'm not a natural writer, so I'm not sure if the kids are where they're supposed to be at this point or not!
ReplyDeleteI think your 1st race time is excellent! Sweet Home Alabama is a great running song.
Michael Clay Thompson materials used at a much slower pace than recommended and of course, daily written narrations.
DeleteJami, I wouldn't worry about it. When they get to high school, do Lost Tools of Writing. Someone really should write "Lost Tools for LIttle Kids" (or something like that!).
ReplyDeleteI'm curious...what else is on the "get psyched" run playlist?
For the CIRCE talk, can you please address what happens when sons claim they have done their homework and also claim that they don't need any help. Then neither turns out to be true....
I would love the answers to those same questions, Renee. I have a child who NEVER needs help (supposedly) and then regularly crashes and burns. And then there is the work that was done while I'm at work but mysteriously gets lost when I ask to see it....
DeleteLet them fail. Two things are going on here. The boy needs to face the consequence of his decisions. The mom needs to know that she is cannot remake the child. Much damage is done when we look at this sort of issue as something we personally can fix. Believe me you can never fix another person. What you can do is seek wisdom, let them fail, hold them accountable, take away other privileges until the work is done. IF a son senses you are trying to fix him, all is lost. Don't fix him, let him fail so that he can fix himself.
DeleteCindy,
ReplyDeleteI am currently reading Kevin Leman's book, "What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son's Life" and the idea that has struck me the most thus far is Leman says in all his years of counseling thousands of families, the most important relationship is that of the opposite sexes (i.e. mother/son and father/daughter) where I would have thought it to be the opposite...you know, a son needs lots of "man time" with his dad. So, I guess the pressure is really on me! :)
Secondly, I was wondering if you would talk here a little about behaviors a mother should avoid when interacting with her son in order to not increase his risk of committing the sin of homosexuality. Since that behavior is so rampant in our culture right now, I feel like I really need to guard against it. I realize it is a very controversial topic, though, and don't blame you at all if you don't want to go there.
In Christ,
MrsD
I want to answer this as discreetly as possible but it is a good question and one I am sure haunts many mothers. I am not going to answer this based on science but only what I have observed and I may have gotten it wrong.
DeleteI am guessing that much of this type of behaviour comes from hormone problems and another big chunk from abuse or being preyed upon which may in turn create hormonal problems. That is my assumption.
The first mistake I think is to fear that a strong mother causes this problem. I would not be concerned about being too strong but I would be concerned about being too controlling. This is tricky for the homeschool mom because she is in control of many things such as transcripts and grades and meals. Defer to your son whenever possible. Give him responsibility and let him make mistakes.
I think in some homes there naturally develops a fear of sin so great, after all we should fear sin, that the atmosphere becomes secretive and the son learns to hide and cower from his sin rather than face it head on and be done with it.
Computer use should be monitored but not carefully. Do not create an environment where the child is just waiting to get out of your home so he can be free to look at pornography. I do not mean let him look at it. Just let the onus fall on him.
Probably want to avoid soy products or anything else we learn is full of estrogen.
Be careful in the younger and middle school years about overnighters with church groups etc. We have a no sleepovers rule in our home for the boys.
Be brave when talking about sin to the boys and let them see that you can take the knowledge of it without bushels of tears and hysterics so that they can live in an open place and not lead a hidden life of sin.
Pray that sins will find them out and God will do that for you but just make sure you don't get hysterical.
Make sure they get plenty of physical exercise to burn off those raging hormones.
Don't make the idea of boy/girl relationships seem so forbidden that the son is forced to feel ashamed of liking girls.
That is just off the top of my head.
Thank you so much, Cindy! A few of these apply to conversations my husband and I have been having about what our home will look like as our boys are getting older (10 this year!), particularly with regard to computer use and availability.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cindy. This is exactly what I was asking for. Thanks for your courage. MrsD
ReplyDeleteWe have three homosexual family members, and I was an RA for the girls' athletic floor at my college. Lesbianism was not uncommon among those elite athletes, and several of them went on to professional sports careers. I'm always a little nervous when someone tells me they want their daughter to play division I softball or basketball.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, what I've noticed in family members who became homosexual is that as they were growing up they were disconnected emotionally from the parent who was the same sex. They also had early homosexual encounters that the parents didn't find out about until later. They had too much peer influence and were not well supervised as young people. The parents seemed unaware (or uncaring) of how their child's identity was forming.
If one has a son who doesn't like to hunt and fish and would rather cook and sew, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him. Some very manly men have been great chefs, clothing designers, artists, or other creative types. The problem occurs (imho) when the father is not supportive of his son's pursuits and alienates the son. The son gets the idea that he's not a "real" or "normal" man. Combine that sense of alienation with our society's indoctrination toward sin and "alternative" lifestyles, and it's easy to see how it happens.
In the lesbians I've known, they were actually taught from a young age that being feminine was bad, weak or silly, either by the parents or by an influential peer.